One piece of advice we got as newlyweds was to continue dating each other in marriage. No problem, I thought. We are going to rock this marriage thing and always make time for weekly date nights. And then life set in and almost thirteen years of marriage later, we deserve the medal for the worst daters ever!
It happens to the best of us. We want to spend meaningful time with our spouse (hopefully!), but our quality time together quickly takes a backseat to bills, chores, to-dos, kids, sports, exhaustion and everything in between.
I can point our dating downfall to two things…money and laziness. Dates can be expensive if you have to pay for a babysitter. So our date nights were usually the first thing on the budgeting chopping block. But if the budget wasn’t the issue, then our laziness was. By the time the kids are in bed, I can hear my own bed calling my name!
We all know that our marriages are more important than the list of excuses and our busy schedules. Our relationship with our spouse is worth every effort we can give them. In fact, Megan and I recently read through Hebrews and talked about how this verse reminds us to work hard on our marriages…
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone…” (Hebrews 12:14)
The reality is that many couples make more of an effort to win an argument than they do to live at peace with one another. Creating the habit of regular date nights not only is a great way to live out this verse in your marriage, but it can also…
- Strengthen your commitment to one another
- Show the kids that marriage is a priority
- Refuel the romance
- Encourage communication
- Give you a night off from cooking or putting the kids to bed (yes please!)
But if we aren’t intentional, we can become regretful. So we made a change!
We decided to plan a date night once a month. And to hold us accountable to this, we’re going out on the same date each month. It’s our Monthiversary!
We got married on May 22, so now our monthly dates fall on (or around) the 22nd of each month. It’s the easiest way for us to remember to set a date night and to make us a priority. But this isn’t a marriage business meeting where we talk about schedules, calendars and kids. Instead it’s a time to invest in our marriage and have FUN together.
We are trading in our medal as the worst daters ever, and making time to laugh with the one we love most.
Question: What’s one way you can make your marriage a priority?